Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
