Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
