I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
