I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
