I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
