Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
