mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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