Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
