It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
