those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
