K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
one might say we're banned from that church
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
