At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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