The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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