I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
