Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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