Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
