it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
