Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
