why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
