At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
