No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
