This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
