Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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