if only i could text you this smell
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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