oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
