My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
