Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fuck appropriateness.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
