I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
