I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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