Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
love makes seman taste better
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
