We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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