I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
