is wine microwaveable?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
