I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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