she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
