it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
