Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
