Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
