That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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