I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
