belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
