I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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