I just cut my nipple shaving
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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