Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
