I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
