I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
