week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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