You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
