from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize