we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
